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Ways To Boost Resilience: Advice From Our Military Panel & Resilience Experts

When Don Ussery reflects on living through a pandemic, he thinks about his four years of duty on a guided missile destroyer, operating the USS Callaghan’s multi-million-dollar weapons system. In some ways, Ussery says, that “high stress evolution” parallels the one we’re experiencing today.

Don Ussery on the small island of Diego Garcia
Don Ussery on the small island of Diego Garcia in the British Indian Ocean, during his Naval service in 1983, while his ship was being replenished during a 6-month western Pacific cruise.

“Yes, it was not comfortable. Yes, I would have preferred to be sitting on the couch watching TV,” remembers Ussery, who now works for the UW–Madison Division of Information Technology (DoIT) as assistant director for the Enterprise Resource Planning admin team. “But instead, I was out in a cold, blowing seaspray coming over the bow, handling the line in a dangerous sea state.”

“You just had to embrace that uncomfortable period, and do the job that you were given to do.”

Today, when he talks with his wife and kids about the many uncomfortable aspects of pandemic life, Ussery calls upon that experience, offering his family some advice culled from his Navy days:

“It’s uncomfortable because you’re comparing it to something better,” Ussery tells them. “Quit comparing it to something better—we’re in this today. It’ll be different tomorrow. It was different yesterday. Embrace it.”

Sharing his perspective during a DoIT-led panel discussion about “Resilience in Adversity” in August, featuring several former members of U.S. military branches, Ussery’s advice to his family touches on core components experts say can help us build resilience: accepting change, learning from your past, and focusing on how you think about things.

“Our experiences change us all the time,” UW Integrative Health says in its COVID Resilience Guide: Proven Ways to Handle COVID (Or Any Challenge). “The question is, how will they change us, and how much control do we have over that? Do we stay caught up in our pain or fear, or do we break through it?”

Read part 1 of the series: Meet our “Resilience in Adversity” panel members, former members of the U.S. military who shared their perspectives about the concept of resilience—and how their military training has helped them in the face of adversity and challenges, like the pandemic.

Ways to Boost Your Resilience

The UW Integrative Health guide offers a list of “Ways to Boost Your Resilience,” with goals you can set for yourself in the following categories if you want to practice developing the thoughts, behaviors and actions that research has shown to boost resilience:

  • Be clear on your meaning and purpose
    • Choose something you can do to bring yourself closer to what really matters to you. That may be serving others, connecting even more with someone or something you love, or trying a new experience.
  • Focus on how you think
    • Notice your thinking patterns. Is it possible to reframe how you think about an event or a challenge? Practice improvising, or problem solving “on the spot.” 
  • Be aware of feelings
    • Be mindful about your emotional responses. People who are resilient are more skillful with emotional regulation—they experience negative feelings, but they don’t get consumed by them. Humor means more resilience, too.
  • Be kind to yourself
    • Better self-esteem is linked to more resilience. List what you like about yourself. Practice self-compassion. Notice self-criticism and negate it.
  • Train and prepare
    • Be aware of what triggers unhealthy behavior patterns, like substance use, overeating, and so on. Replace harmful behaviors or coping mechanisms with healthy ones.
  • Reach out
    • Volunteering boosts resilience—ask how can you serve others. Set goals (think, “What is one thing I can accomplish today?”).

The resilience-building activities outlined in the guide match up well with the personal advice the DoIT-led military panel members offered to help their non-military colleagues cope with pandemic stressors.

Several panel members discussed the importance of training and staying focused on the mission of your team and the broader organization.

As a brigadier general test pilot once told Jim Martin: “Jim, if you find a void, fill it.”

“I think of that as ‘seek out opportunities,’” said Martin, an Air Force veteran who joined the UW Administrative Transformation Program team last year as senior project manager. “The idea that, if I see something that’s not being done, I can go ahead and do it myself? That was empowering.”

So, how can you empower yourself to expand your horizons, and maybe fill a void that needs to be filled? The UW Integrative Health guide offers the following goal to try: “Practice and plan ahead so you feel able to respond and deal with crises. Run scenarios in your mind and ask yourself, ‘What would I do if…’”

At the same time, here’s a good reminder from one of the military panel members, particularly during an atypical academic year: “Everyone needs to understand that we have way more to do than we can possibly get done,” says Mike Vavrus, a DoIT cloud engineer with 14 years of service in the Navy and Army.

“Let’s just focus on what we can get done,” Vavrus added. “What’s most important on the list? And we go out and get it done.”

“Resilience in Adversity” panel members also collectively emphasized the importance of connectedness as a factor in our personal resilience—at the family and social level, at the unit or team level, and at the community level.

Tim Bohn, his wife Sarah and daughter Kristen at his re-enlistment ceremony in 2000
Tim Bohn, his wife Sarah and daughter Kristen at his re-enlistment ceremony in 2000. Tim was renewing his service contract with the 2-Star General pictured on the left; Sarah also received a certificate showing the Army’s appreciation for her support.

“Build your support team—whether that’s spiritual, family or at work,” said Tim Bohn, a 28-year Army and Army Reserve veteran. “Whatever it is, have that support team to be there and recognize when you’re going down the wrong path.”

And if you lead a team, Bohn emphasized, make an effort to get to know the people who work for you.

“If you can understand where they’re coming from and what their needs are, you’re better equipped to help them through a challenging scenario,” said Bohn, assistant director of common systems cybersecurity.

In Navy veteran Bob Turner’s experience, a great way to maintain endurance under stress is to look for the next opportunity to record an achievement.

“Keeping a positive mental attitude is a challenge when underway—in a combat zone, or just enduring long periods of stressful conditions,” says Turner, a 23-year Navy veteran and UW–⁠Madison’s chief information security officer. “Knowing that the next full meal is 3, 6, or even 15 hours away helped me to focus on the tasks and be aware that something wonderful awaited me.”

Likewise, Turner said, when returning from a long deployment, sailors would make “short timer’s chains,” with each loop representing one more watch to go, one more day to go, or one more major event to go.

“As the chain grew shorter,” Turner recalls, “the anticipation of the ultimate prize of seeing family again kept spirits high.”

Resilience Tips & Resources

So how can you build and maintain your own resilience skills? Check out some resources that will help you focus on and practice the core components of resilience:

  • The COVID Resilience Guide: Proven Ways to Handle COVID (Or Any Challenge) and Finding Balance – From UW Integrative Health, Department of Family Medicine and Community Health
  • Building Our Everyday Resiliency Compass – August 18 Badger Talks Live event featuring Julia Yates, Director, Behavioral Health, UW Family Medicine, Internal Wellness and Resiliency Program
  • Building Your Resilience – From the American Psychological Association: We all face trauma, adversity and other stresses. Here’s a roadmap for adapting to life-changing situations, and emerging even stronger than before.
  • Ramp Up Your Resilience! – From Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School: Being resilient is a skill you can learn and sharpen, and it’s never too late to give it a try.
  • 23 Resilience-Building Tools and Exercises (+ Mental Toughness Test) – From PositivePsychology.com; a few activities to try:
    • 3 Good Things Activity: Consider ending your day by reflecting on and writing down 3 good things that happened today. Be intentional about reflecting on the experiences, noting how you felt, and what was the best thing about the experience.
    • Find the Silver Lining Activity: Think about an upsetting experience you have had recently. It could be a small example (i.e., my kids missed the bus this morning). Rather than focusing on the frustration of the experience, reflect on 3 positive things about it. Maybe it offered you time to have a special talk with your child on the way to school, or allowed you to see the sunrise from a different place, etc.
    • Foster Your Team Activity: Write down the names of important supports in your life. Under each name, write down 2 things you can do to strengthen your connection with that person in the next week.

If You Need Help

Any employee who is struggling and feeling the need for help is encouraged to reach out to their manager or the UW–Madison Employee Assistance Office. EAO professional staff offer counseling and consultation at no cost to UW–Madison faculty, staff, graduate student employees, significant others, and family members.

UW–Madison students are eligible for no-cost Mental Health Services from University Health Services. UHS also offers 24/7 crisis services, including a 24-hour crisis line: 608.265.5600 (option 9).